Well it's certainly been an interesting few days at Chesham United as our FA Cup train once again came crashing off the rails much earlier than any of us would have liked, against lower league opposition; the forum comes back to life and I'm surrounded by people that know better than the manager we employ; we bounce back with a stunning result against Hitchin on Tuesday night and I finish the week with a skin infection that has got into my bloodstream which, to quote the Doctor this morning, has left me feeling "lousy".
It's a little difficult to know where to begin because, as anyone who read Tuesday night's programme notes will know, it has been a huge rollercoaster of extreme emotions. Emotions that have not always been best contained. I know I have my flaws when it comes to this, and I often make a rod for my own back... (Indeed I'm still awaiting details from the Southern League having suggested back in June that there might be a geographically better venue to hold the AGM, I was offered the chance to suggest a new venue, to do that I clearly required some more information on numbers etc, information I'm still waiting for, so it runs and runs...probably in the hope that I'll lose my enthusiasm...)
As you know, myself, Mike Warrick and Laura Warrick walked to the Dunstable game to raise money for the club and the Aaron West Goalkeeping Academy. We left The Meadow at 6.30am prompt (not bad going after a Quiz Night on the Friday that was brilliantly attended, once again involved myself as Quizmaster from the bar area and did not finish until about 11.00pm) and it soon became apparent that none of us had actually been involved in the navigation of previous walks and it was going to take a little longer with more map consultations and possible wrong turnings. We did well though, we were well past the bottom of Nashleigh Hill (Chesham) before we took our first wrong turning, heading up the hill to Ashley Green earlier than the planned route had intended.
There is no denying that, despite taking just over eight hours and this time working out at over 20 miles, the walk to Dunstable is stunning. It took us longer than memory served to reach the canal at Berkhamsted and it wasn't long after heading into Ashridge that we clearly made our first wrong choice when at a path junction; in the end we consulted three different compasses, convinced that our gut instinct knew which way North was more than the compass did. After passing countless deer, we eventually got ourselves onto the right path, crossing the Ashridge Golf Course, both Mike and I convinced that "we came to the golf course much earlier in the walk last time"; that was not to be the last time our recollection of distances from previous walks had been eroded with time.
By the time we arrived into the open fields approaching Dagnall, it was pushing midday, and there was a nagging feeling that our arrival at Dunstable was not going to be as early as anticipated (less beer time). The steep hill up towards Whipsnade was a steep as we remembered (but not as easy to find!) and finding a footpath across Whipsnade Golf Course proved a challenge; not so the path around the zoo, although the perimeter fence we circum-navigated was considerably longer than I thought. From when we emeged on the green at Whipsnade, my memory recalled that it was a short walk towards the tree cathedral, out onto the Downs, down the hill into the town, and there we are... I really did not recall there still being another 3-4 miles to go from there! (Again we managed to avoid the most direct route to the Downs, picking up the "circular walk" instead).
Eventually we arrived at the ground, piloted in by Martin and Ryan Woolnough with collection buckets (fair play to the Dunstable fan who saw us walking along and crossed the road especially to put some money in). At the ground we were rather embarrassingly applauded for the last few steps into the ground; hugely appreciated. By now it was pushing 2.40pm - only 20 minutes until the start of our next FA Cup chapter.
From then on, the day went all horrible really. We went behind to a goal from a set piece, and that was like a bucket of cold water over the support that looked ready to heat up second-half when we were attacking the end with cover behind the goal. We were not playing well, but we had not been at our best for a few weeks, but had still won our last four games. There was cause for optimism... That was until Dean Brennan stepped up to haunt us yet again with a second goal for the home side, and another FA Cup horror show was unfolding before me. I was absolutely well and truly totally gutted. Knackerd and gutted. Knackered, sore feet and gutted.
I left the crowd behind the goal to go and collapse against the fence, take my shoes off and commiserate with myself. After a few calming moments I stood up again to watch, standing with Brian McCarthy and Rob Goldhawk I predicted we would score a last minute goal to give us hope just before the final pain kicked in; you can guess what happened next, as we lost the game 2-1.
After the match everything just blew out of all proportions, in hindsight; though at the time the world was collapsing around me. All around supporters, officials and fellow directors, not to mention people I don't know, all had an opinion about what had gone before. It needed a cool and level head... I had been walking since 6.30am, it wasn't going to come from me! (and it should have). So, at that point I walked onto the pitch, told Andy Leese that we'll sort the wages out on Tuesday rather than the usual after the game Saturday and got my lift home for a night with the feet up as Mrs C headed out into Watford on a 40th birthday...
Sunday was a strange day. Monday even more so. I awoke with one of those "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE" type moments. I realised how amazingly priviliged I am. I could go on for hours about the negatives, but what an incredible position I found myself in... How many millions of supporters, all across the globe, on every continent, must walk away from matches so disgruntled that they think "Bloody hell, if it was me? I wouldn't pay 'em this week..." And here I was, a massive fan of my club, walking away from a match with the players' wages in my pocket. I must stress that there was never any intention of not paying players and the wait was only going to be until Tuesday... it was a horrible position to be in because there were people around me almost challenging me to have the balls not to pay them, and, (I refer to the eight hour walk again), I let it happen.
So by Monday I was thinking "OH MY GOD..."
By Tuesday afternoon I had had countless text and email exchanges with Andy Leese; we discussed the conversations on the forum, we discussed what people had been saying, we discussed how the players were feeling, we discussed how we were feeling...I couldn't always say exactly the right things because how could I not consider how I might have been as a supporter 20 years ago after a defeat like that? (Probably a lot more irrational than most, all, our fans at Dunstable). However, by the time we had a lengthy phone conversation about four hours before the Hitchin game there was a definite feeling that from this adversity we may well come out even stronger...
Come Tuesday night we were actually able to laugh about the fact that we had both had to write our programme notes for the game at a time when we really should not have been writing notes for the programme... The result still hurt. The cup upset still hurt. The loss of financial income hurt, but that had to be put in the past, there was nothing we could do about it now. The best thing we could do was beat Hitchin Town and continue our 100% home record this season.
The game against The Canaries started at a frantic pace, with quality passing. In fact it it is only fair to say that they had the better of the first half. But, straight from the restart Watters scored from a perfect Wales cross and suddenly the world was looking a better place again. The reaction to the goal was superb, from supporters and players alike. Things got even better when Danny Talbot's free-kick from 30 yards bounced awkwardly in front of the keeper, the celebrations were an incredible sight... how could anyone seriously question that anyone either on the pitch or on the terraces did not care? We are all passionate, too passionate at times, and that is what can cause awkward moments, but that is also what makes the game so bloody brilliant, isn't it?
Off the field we have to work even harder on the finances now, we know that, we always knew that. The FA Cup might have been an easy route out, but it was not to be. Already this week Giles Stevenson has been out getting additional sponsorship and we need to continue to look after our guests in the boardroom that financially support the club heavily. I would love the boardroom to be a cheerier, more positive environment (after all, we have won every home game this season), but I also appreciate the contributions made to the club and I am not going to get involved in debates about performances at the risk of support for the club.
So, apart from the contagious infections picked up at my busiest time at work, all is relatively well with the world again. I had a good meeting with The Bucks Examiner on Tuesday that sees our sponsorship restored and some excting partnerships going forward; we ran our business plan past my predecessor the previous week, and it looks as though we have been fairly successful in avoiding any blatantly obvious flaws and I met with Ken and Jacky Ring from the youth/mini set-up on the same night, sharing my hopes for the future and how I hope we can work together going forward.
It's busy times at the moment, with work and football, but I've always been passionate and can never go into things half-hearted. If I believe something is fundamentally wrong and easily fixed, then I have a habit of saying so and trying to resolve it. Sometimes it is tough as what is wrong to some people, might not be to me, and what I think is horribly wrong, others might think is perfectly fine, but that comes down to human nature. This week I have learned a lot about myself, and I have learned a lot about being Chairman, I've even doubted myself, but now I think I actually feel we can be even stronger than before...
At least it's a local game for me on Saturday at Hemel Hempstead, a good away win and we'll all be wondering what the FA Cup fuss was all about!
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