The Other "Woman"

Next week sees the first big clash in my now double sporting life. I'm a great advocate of Non-League Day, pro-actively encouraging football fans to go along and support their local non-league side on the weekend when there is no top flight football due to international matches - Last year saw the crowd at The Meadow boosted as Chesham United entertained Truro City. Next weekend is 2014 Non-League Day, Chesham United play host to Bideford from Devon, but I'll be at...Twickenham.

Yes, this is where Chesham United Travels 2014 differs so hugely from the 1992 version where the game with the egg-shaped ball would be regularly derided amidst bullish terrace banter...I have succumbed to egg-chasing and, shhhh, actually really enjoy it now. But it gets worse than that.

For this coming season my youngest and I have season tickets for Saracens at Allianz Park near Barnet. Never thought such an occurrence would ever happen, unthinkable; but a combination of weariness at "my football club" and some exceptional community activity to get people involved by Saracens, it has happened. (Using the term "my football club" reminds me of the regular phone calls of moans I get from one particular fan..."Your football club this....". "your football club that..." You may think you are helping, but sorry, you're not, you're driving people like me away...)

My youngest has been playing rugby for three seasons now, next year they will be playing Under 11's, each year getting more and more physical as they work their way towards the full contact game. He loves it, and I enjoy going along to watch him play - I know (knew) little about the technicalities of rugby so was never going to get involved in the coaching or running of Camelot Rugby Club in Boxmoor, Hemel, which meant I could just go along, enjoy some quality time with my boy and other parents, enjoy a couple of drinks afterwards...all without any of the hassle, the politics or worry that goes with a Saturday matchday at Chesham United.

At this age they do not play in competitive leagues, they have friendly matches and enter four or five festivals a year - The best from a parents perspective is at the end of season, a weekend away in Bournemouth that involves rather large amounts of analysis over a beer or twelve in the bar over the course of three days. However, perhaps the most influential festivals in this particular story have been the ones held at Saracens.

If you are wondering what all the fuss is about 4G pitches and the big decisions about whether it should be allowed in football, I can not give a more glowing recommendation than the example of Saracens. They play in a moderate 10,000 capacity stadium in Barnet, and the pitch is artificial - Strange for rugby maybe, but it really works. And it works because they can hold these community festivals on a matchday, give the kids a memorable day out, and leave them with a desire to come back that will leave them nagging their parents so much that the parents will give in.

So what you end up with is the likes of myself and my Ben rolling up at 8.30am along with loads of other kids to participate in a morning tournament on the pitch. This finishes by 1.00pm, a couple of hours before a Saracens league or cup match that afternoon. As part of the entrance fee to the tournament families have already paid for tickets to the match, so Dad goes to the bar with other parents, the kids go to the club shop and play around behind the stand, the game kicks of at 3.00pm, finishes around 5.00pm and then, because it is an artificial pitch, the whole crowd is invited onto the pitch for a kick around whilst the players get change - many of them then emerging for photographs and autographs.

By 6.30pm, Dad and son Calder are still on the pitch emulating Owen Farrell, some ten hours after first arriving, by which time Ben is already asking "When can we come back Dad? They are at home again next week..."

So we went to a couple more games, including another two that coincided with tournaments that Ben was playing in in that morning; we headed up to Wembley when they played Toulouse there, and again when they played Harlequins...then they reached the semi-finals of the Heineken (European) Cup where they played Clermont at Twickenham - What a day out, what a performance, what a win...By the time we were on the train home, we were already planning a trip to the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff for the final.

Back in the league we were there waving our flags and biting our nails at Allianz as Saracens overcame Harlequins to earn a place in the play-off final, back at Twickenham, against Northampton. A packed Twickenham, an incredible atmosphere, an unbelievable game that went to extra-time and was lost by a dubious decision on the final play of the match, of the entire season...But it didn't spoil things, we were both gutted, but had been so engrossed in an incredible occasion that it didn't feel like a defeat. It was the end of an amazing season, but for us, it was just the beginning of a new chapter...I had already decided that I need a break from the ties of football, and the best way to get that was by purchasing season tickets for my boy and I, making football fit around the time I spend at rugby with my son...and not the other way around.

Am I ditching Chesham United? Of course not. Breaking the ties that make it a burden, trying to make it enjoyable again, definitely...re-evaluating those mornings when you wake up knowing that you are going to have a horrible day out at somewhere like Cirencester; knowing that the journey, the atmosphere, the match will be crap, but if you get home at the end of the day with three points then it is all worth it - part of the job. Doing that has become so normal, it is worrying, and that is why I'm prepared to let it go on occasions in return for some quality time with my son; while he still wants to spend time with his old man.

Not an easy decision to make in hindsight, but I remember vividly the moment I made the decision. It was the semi-final of the Heineken Cup, it doesn't matter what sport we were watching, we had just witnessed one of the most clinical of team performances (Sarries thrashing the much-fancied Clermont). The players were doing their lap of honour. I was with other dad's and sons from my boys' rugby club, the kids were on shoulders, flags waving, Dads had a beer in hand, there were smiles all around...

...It was there that it suddenly hit me how much I was enjoying myself...I didn't care if the players had been paid or not, I didn't care what was going on behind the scenes, I was a punter on the terrace, nothing more...and I was loving it. No hassles, no stress, no caring what other people were thinking. It was about me, my son and how we felt, so refreshing. No responsibility, no waiting for the next complaint to come my way...A huge release.

Back at Chesham the season has been indifferent, as expected after a huge change of personnel in the squad. I have just returned from holiday, missing three league games, each of them ending in a 1-0 defeat and already the natives are getting restless. It's understandable that the critics are out, after what we have become used to it is not what we expect, but it might have to become the reality for a while when we start to evaluate exactly what Chesham United is capable of, and where we really belong.

I have an interest in all things Chesham United, but am trying to avoid getting involved in everything. We supposedly have a Board now with clearly defined roles and responsibilities. On paper it should work, but in reality I fear we will face the same problems we have faced for years, too few people faced with doing far too much...and with the best will in the world, that will not be successful.

I really hope that this year we can focus on rectifying this...I'm as guilty as anyone of getting carried away with what is happening on the pitch, we've been teased and jollied along by the carrot of Conference football that has been so agonisingly within reach...before being cruelly snatched away (subconsciously, the pain and disappointment of the play-off defeat is still there)...the truth is, away from the pitch, we cannot have another season like last. Structure, leadership, responsibility and infrastructure all need to be looked at, if we can do that in conjunction with another promotion push then absobloodylutely marvellous, but the picture is bigger than that, and if we can't, it is not the end of our Conference hopes, just a realisation that there is more to it than just getting the best players and management in place on the field. Several things need to happen simultaneously.

With that mindset, I'm hopeful we can have an enjoyable season. I certainly enjoyed the 3-0 win at Slough on Monday, and am looking forward to Dorchester this weekend, coupled with a few beers as part of an overnight stay in Weymouth. Blimey, after watching Saracens lose the Heineken Cup Final, and then lose the Premiership play-off and Chesham losing the play-off final last year...A bit of fun and enjoyment is needed, and maybe just that little bit of luck that could make all the difference.